I'm finished with my nautical high-waisted shorts, including the hem and buttons, but then I realized that I have nothing to wear them with, so now I'm frantically sewing up a stripey top. But in the meantime, as I look at myself wearing the shorts, I am beginning to realize that perfectly-fitted-pants-sewing is going to be a long and ever-changing journey. See, when you make fitted pants, they emphasize all sorts of things that fitted skirts don't do (not that I make a lot of fitted skirts).
I've already written before about my body image issues, specifically with my lower body, which is part of the reason why I'm always making dresses with fitted bodices and full skirts. In trying to fit my shorts (which are still not perfect), I'm realizing that I need to look at my body a little more objectively. Instead of shying away from looking at my thighs (quick! throw on a full skirt!!), I need to know what they actually look like so that I can cover them with fabric in the most flattering way possible (and not just by throwing on a full skirt). So I made a croquis. Two, actually, from both the front and the side.
 |
| If you're wondering about the awkwardly raised arm in the first croquis, it's because I was holding my camera up to my face. I decided to try to pretend it was behind my head or something. Also, what does one do with the arms in a side croquis? |
Seeing myself in my non-Elizabethan undawears, rendered as a line drawing, is, for lack of a better word, interesting. Initial thoughts: I didn't realized that my head was so large, nor my feet so oddly stubby. I already knew that I had a swayback (and avoided ever having to make that adjustment by always sewing dresses with waist seams), and my dance teacher in college had already pointed out my swayback knees. Seriously, what bendy part do I have that isn't sway? Also, my measurements indicate that I should be a pear, but the width of my shoulders makes me more of an hourglass, at least visually. No wonder why I love belted dresses.
But the rudest shock was seeing my belly profile, as I hadn't realized that it was as rounded as it is. Before you protest that it isn't round at all, I will interject that when I was in college, it used to be entirely flat. I know, of course, that it isn't realistic to expect one's body to stay frozen at its peak, but I do wonder how much preservation work one should reasonably do. How much should one accept that aging happens, that as I get closer to thirty my body's metabolism will slow down, and it's a lost cause to retain my college figure? It just goes to show that the comment from one of Gertie's readers is SO. TRUE. "All 'thin' can ever be is 'not yet fat today' and 'not as thin as I could be.'" I need to walk away from that kind of thinking and focus on being healthy.
I was recently talking with a very dear friend about body image, and I had said that body image was not one of my "big" issues. That is, when I think about the demons I need to wrestle with, I am more likely to say selfishness, difficulty dealing with emotions, or a tendency to over-focus on the task to the exclusion of people, not body image. But looking at my croquis makes me think that maybe it was just a dormant issue, and it is now being brought to light as I think about getting older and the possibility of messing with my body by producing a small human being.
So how does making pants fit in with all of these unearthed issues? I'm not really sure. Part of me wants to stop the pants-making journey right here and go back to full skirts that sit at my natural waist, but another part of me thinks that I need to continue trying for fitted pants, as maybe that will force me to come to terms with and accept my body. Who knew that sewing could be such an effective excavator of buried issues?
Sorry for the scatterbrained post, but I just wanted a record of my thoughts. Also, I really do love so many things about my body; this post just sounds especially whiny because I'm troubled by sewing pants that fit. If you actually read this all the way through, thanks for sticking with me.
Thanks for the brutally honest post! It was actually a great reminder to me that just because a person is smaller than me doesn't mean they don't have likes and dislikes about their body just like me.
ReplyDeleteI think many of us (all of us?) have secret negative thoughts about our body... The act of sewing and taking picture of myself for the blog has certainly been a challenge to how I see myself! Learning about my double chin, my paunch, my unbalanced eyes... even just seeing myself from another angle! It's strange to actually try to face yourself as you are!
I'm trying consciously not to say, "Oh, but you are so tiny! How can you worry?", because that's not the point. I'm impressed with you for re-examining your perception of yourself, and most of all, for being brave enough to blog it! Well done, good luck, and keep us posted on the journey!
Yeah, I was hesitant to post about this precisely because I sometimes feel like I have less errr, valid complaints? Except I'm not complaining, just trying to sort through my own feelings. Thanks for reading and affirming that this is a safe place to share such things!
DeleteMeasurements are such interesting things - we tend to think in straight lines and perfect circles. In reality there are lots of ovals. I have an adjustable dress form set to my measurements but I set it in an oval instead of equal dials so that it matches my silhouette better. And it looks completely different than the "standard" all matching numbers on same body part dials - even though it measures the same both ways!
ReplyDeleteInteresting, re: the adjustable dress form arrangements! If I ever get one, I'll definitely be asking you for tips!
DeleteApparently you and I have some similar "issues" sway back, hyper extended knees, full calf's, and full front thighs. I don't know how tall you are, but my legs are 3" to short for my height as well. The easiest pants to fit for my body type have a full leg because this is the only style which will not get hung up on the hyper extended knee, full calf issue..so I suggest starting with those - lol
ReplyDeleteI believe that garment sewers have an advantage in maintaining a healthy body because we are constantly analyzing the changes. Many people hide from themselves, which is nearly impossible to do if you are going to sew for yourself.
My students have a difficult time believing I have things about my body that I would change if I could simply because I am in a healthy weight range, and it frustrates me at times that I am not allowed to express it. So good for you! Air it out, share it, because addressing it will help you be a better fitter/pattern maker and after all isn't that the ultimate goal.
I'm 5'5", but I don't know how long my legs are "supposed" to be. I do have a couple of other full leg pants patterns; I will have to give those a try.
DeleteI totally agree with you regarding the constant analysis that sewing forces you to do, and also with the frustrations of not being "allowed" to express your hangups!
Interesting post!! The idea is pretty cool - I might need to make one myself.
ReplyDeleteOne tip though - if you're going to take a photo then have the camera more at waist level. The warping of perspective and lens will make your legs look shorter than they actually are! And that gives you an unfairly negative view on your own body ;-)
As for your preference for full skirts and them hiding 'flaws' - well there's nothing wrong with full skirts! And what about a pencil skirt over a pair of pants? I am a big fan of those and like to make them sit at my natural waist. I'm not a fan of pants on me either, because I have short legs as well and high waisted pants just make my bum look long and wide ;-P
Getting out of your comfort zone is good, to possibly find new things that flatter you...but knowing what works on your figure is also sound knowledge :-D
Yeah, I thought about the angle afterwards, but I think I've gotten what I need to out of my croquis. I measured myself and the proportions on the drawing, and I think it's actually pretty accurate.
DeleteI told myself for the longest time to just keep making skirts because I know they look good on me, but I felt ready for a challenge...also because I have really been coveting a pair of nautical shorts!
Oh, dear. I think that sewing pants brings one's lower-body issues to light like nothing else in the world can. Making pants drew my attention to so many insecurities, and ultimately motivated me to take more gym classes and make valiant efforts to limit my bread intake (still working on that one, god, bread, why you gotta be so amazing?). I like my legs and stomach more now, sure, but it's always going to be a struggle.
ReplyDeleteIt's so tempting to just dive back into the world of easy things, but you have to just hope/believe that there are pairs of pants out there that are going to work for your specific body, and you can make them, if you try. And honestly, working on fitting pants and shorts has made me appreciate those issues on my body in greater depth, i.e., it's not that my legs are fat, they are shapely and strong, and I need to adjust accordingly.
And honestly, kudos to you for thinking first about your personality flaws before your physical ones.
strugglesewsastraightseam.wordpress.com
You are a major inspiration to me in pants-making -- your Clovers are what pushed me over the edge, I think! And I hear you on the bread issue!
DeleteI think I go back and forth on my legs, like I said in my earlier body image post, it's a love-hate relationship. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
I'm amazed by your bravery in taking on something like this -- I don't think it's easy for anyone to face any issues, regardless of what they are, and body image issues are often especially hard. And in public! As what's-his-name from Arthur Murray would say, Bravo! :)
ReplyDeleteSee, the funny thing is I didn't realize it would be hard! Haha, I am all about self-deception. Thanks for the bravo, but I don't think I would have done it if a bunch of other sewing bloggers weren't brave first!
DeleteI've just made a croquis after reading about them online and I really do think they are a great idea for working out what shapes actually suit you. I've always been suspect of where waistbands sit and now I can tell at a glance where they ought to be to look best.
ReplyDeleteI think your really brave to air your thoughts about your croquis to the world - I don't think I've got to that stage yet - and it just hammers home the point that you have to be able to understand your shape to be able to fit to it and emphasise it's best points. Plus, it's cathartic! :)
Like I said, I used to think I was a pear, until my croquis revealed that hourglass fashions work too...
DeleteIt is indeed cathartic to discuss these issues, and I must say, the sewing blog community is so safe and affirming that it feels okay to just let it all out.
It is quite odd to look at oneself as an 'other' isn't it? I find myself increasingly doing this as I try to figure out what styles work for my figure or coloring or what-have-you. It always makes me uneasy though! I made a croquis and have yet to use it...I think I need to do another at a better angle.
ReplyDeleteHmmm, I wonder how I could work coloring into my croquis...but I totally hear you on the uneasiness!
DeleteThank you for sharing your croquis, it convinced me to finally get to making my own. I love your blog, and have been reading along very happily for a while. I am a fellow chemist and recently started sewing, so you make an excellent role model. (I do lack a cat, though.)
ReplyDeleteI agree that looking at one's body 'objectively' can be awkward even if there are no major issues, it is just eerie if the familiar suddenly becomes strange. As for the fitting woes: consider why women (and in many cultures men) wore skirts for millenia, and men's pants were often of the baggy variety - making them fit well was probably always considered difficult ;-). Chemistry was a lot 'easier' a century ago, now you have to learn a lot more to just cover the basics. I think sewing is similar, fitting for a body that is not shaped by corsetry and making garments (e.g. pants) that live up to modern ideals for streamlined fit and comfort is challenging.
Mona
You must rectify the lack-of-cat situation immediately!! ;)
DeleteI'm glad that my post was able to help you make your own croquis; I think the objectivity of the line drawing can be really helpful. Good points about the historical clothing-issues, though, and I totally agree about the history of chemistry too!
I agree with you completely. I too find that sewing and croquis-making demand that you really look at yourself; and all of a sudden, it's as though you can only see the flaws.
ReplyDeleteI have bad posture and when I look at my side photo and/or shoulders, I feel like Quasimelda (Quasimodo and Esmeralda's love child).
and you are certainly more aware of you weight gain or loss because you know the EXACT measurements of your body. And you update them routinely so every cm is tracked.
But you also have a lot more control over what you wear and how you look. I don't shop RTW except for Love At First Sight or Too Hard To Sew. It's so frustrating! I'm Petite so lengths are a pain. Even a stupid tank top is a hassle to buy, the neckline becomes automatically looow.
Above all, I admire your honesty and openness and I'm glad to see others being inspired by you. Hiding doesn't help, even if looking hurts. But how else do you get over it?
You know, you would think I'd be more aware of my measurements, but for a couple years I just used my measurements from when I first took up sewing, and would occasionally wonder why my dresses fit funny. I just updated my measurements, which was quite enlightening. I have never heard of those RTW shops, so I will have to check them out!
DeleteI'm not petite, but I have several friends who are, so I can totally understand the neckline thing!
Oops! Sorry to have mislead you there. Forgot to put the quotation marks. LAFS and THTS describe my rationale/excuse, not actual shops. My bad! (but I would totally buy from such places if they existed, LOL! Also, good Etsy shop names, non?)
DeleteI have similar swayback issues, and as an ex-Chiropractor who was married to a rehab massage therapist for a long time, I will throw my two cents in and say that a combination of abdominal strengthening and hamstring stretches helps correct pelvic tilt. I find it a lot easier to stretch my hamstrings than do ab work of course, but at least I know if I put my mind to it I can help correct the issue, and I like knowing that it's not something that requires a change in diet or lifestyle, just 10 minutes a week of stretching can be enough to help keep my pelvis in its normal neutral position - but I start skipping it and it's back to being swaybacked!
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure any rounding you perceive in your stomach is purely from the swayback issue, from an objective standpoint you have a very well proportioned body, and from other pictures you post of you in your creations, I too think if your croquis had been from a more neutral angle you might have a slightly different perspective. I want to do a croquis but I don't feel up to asking my husband to take pictures of me in my Underoos just so I can get them from a neutral angle!
Interesting! I never knew there were stretch one could do! I'm going to have to try that.
DeleteI definitely felt weird uploading those pictures onto my computer for tracing...it's just...odd.
Thanks for sharing this post. I am in your boat... I am starting to get over "hating" my legs... but I still hate my tummy. I have never ever in my whole life had a flat toned tummy. Doubt I ever will either... but what can u do!!!!
ReplyDeleteI know that in the end, one's own opinion is what's going to dictate things, but for what it's worth, I think your tummy (at least what I can see from your pictures) looks just fine! And I think buff legs must be genetically Asian, because I know quite a few of us with the same hang-up!
DeleteI too appreciate your bravery - others being there first doesn't make you less so!
ReplyDeleteI'd actually not heard of a croquis before today - would you believe it? I'm not actually all that keen to make one though, because I'm scared of what more issues that would unearth. I already have bad swayback, a long torso with stumpy thick legs, and because I've already gone the producing-small-humans way, a disgusting belly to boot. Oh dear, help! Of course the swayback just makes the belly worse. What more do I need to hide!
I hear you on not being allowed to air figure grievances if you're thin - in reality everyone has some!
Deborah, that is very kind of you to say, but I think knowing that there is a safe space waiting does make it easier to bring these things out into the open.
DeleteThe croquis is in the Colette sewing book, I believe. I don't have a copy, but I started seeing them pop up all over the sewing blogosphere after the book came out, and I see the value in them, so I followed Lladybird's directions. And even though this post focused on issues I saw, in other ways it was also reassuring, because I have these exaggerated ideas about problems I see, and in black and white lines I realize they're not as bad as I make them out to be. So it's revealing in both a good and bad way! But if you're not ready to make one yet, then don't feel like you need to.
Indeed, every female I know has issues, regardless of how gorgeous I think they are!
This is the Bella - burda's high-waisted trousers!
Deletehttp://www.burdastyle.com/patterns/bella
Some days I think they look gorgeous, and some days I think they're just silly :)
I haven't got the Colette book! That explains. I must pluck up the courage for a croquis some day!
Thanks for sharing your croquis and thoughts on it. I actually think we have very similar body shapes - forever I thought I was a pear because I have, um, strong thighs, but really looking at myself I realised that my shoulders are too broad for a pear. I'm more of a rectangle since I don't have a very defined waist. I really need to make one of these myself and get in to fitting more seriously. The side view idea is super helpful too, I need to sort out if I have a swayback in the spinal sense or if my fabric pooling is just because after a year and a half of serious cycling I have suddenly developed a butt...
ReplyDeleteThe croquis is definitely helpfully revealing, and one doesn't necessarily have to share it for the world to see...
DeleteStrong thighs...I like it!