My Blogging Bildungsroman*

{from this pin on Pinterest}

Dear readers, I have Arrived. With a capital A. Every blogger dreams of this day, when they become a full-fledged Real Blogger, the kind with the fur rubbed off the nose from being kissed too much. Or something. But if you think about it, wouldn't the story of the Velveteen Rabbit count as a coming of age story of sorts? But I digress. So what is the symbolic ritual that makes one a Real Blogger, you ask? How can you, too, become a Real Blogger? Ahh, but my child, the answer is simple. It is not something you can ask for. It is not something you can buy. It is something that Just Happens To You.

I came back from a lovely weekend in Big Bear with old friends to find that while I was AFK, I had been graced with that Thing Which Makes One Real: a pointless negative comment regarding my Girl on Fire dress, from an anonymous troll. How appropriate that it was intended for the GoF dress! It shows a certain poetic irony, just like how the gamemakers set Katniss on fire in the arena. I have kindly reproduced it here, so that you may gather 'round in admiration of my flame (see the irony?? see it? see it?):

Anonymous Mar 25, 2012 06:07 AM

"Oh god. You just made a failed attempt.
YOU CALL THIS A DRESS?!?? wow. your mature.

LOL"

Note how perfect my badge of honour is: the misuse of your/you're, the all caps sentence, the totally not-a-normal-person's-waking-hours time of comment, and above all, the anonymity of the troll. I tell you, unless yours has the same hallmarks, you have not Arrived. If you are looking to Arrive, I would recommend that you spend a lot of time on a project, pour your heart into it, and above all, make sure that it is related to a big pop culture phenomenon, one that preferably has a large, vocal and even belligerent fan base. Maybe you could post your improved version of the Black Widow's armaments for the upcoming Avengers movie.

And just in case this anon was gravely inept in his or her efforts to leave a reasoned comment, I'll just throw this out there, in case you're reading this: you apparently wouldn't call my dress a dress...so what is your definition of a dress? Could you clarify what, exactly, about my piece makes it a failed attempt? If you would like to start a dialog about this subject, may I suggest that you make yourself known, instead of hiding behind the cloak of anonymity? I would also suggest learning some basic grammar, because I really have a hard time taking people seriously when they can't write properly, but I think I'm supposed to be trying for generosity here.

*This is all meant to be tongue-in-cheek. I do not believe, by any means, that I have Arrived as a Real Blogger, whatever that even means. I would hope that that came across in my tone, but this being Teh Interwebs and all, one can never be sure, since there are no facial expressions shown. Allow me to offer a humble, clarifying emoticon:

= ^__~ =