Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Thoughts on Being Asian-American, and Don't I Miss the Old Days?

[This has nothing to do with sewing or geekery, so move along if you're just looking for more of my ridiculous projects.]

It was one of these beauties, but much dustier and rustier.
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I tagged along the other day when my husband went to get a haircut in preparation for a big interview, but rather than stay and supervise and play backseat hair-cutter, I decided to check out the vintage store across the street. August Rust has some fantastically-priced vintage wool skirts, but since it was 75 degrees out, I was just browsing. After some poking around, I did spot a lovely old defunct Singer sewing machine hiding behind some old chairs, but much as I would love one of those beauties, I don't exactly have the budget for restoring/repairing one right now. The owner of the store seemed surprised to hear that I was interested in actually sewing with the machine, as opposed to just dusting it off for display, so I started explaining to her all that I've learned in the past year of reading sewing blogs: that these old metal beasts could be sturdier than their plastic descendants, and that depending on what you wanted to sew, it might actually be better to use something so "outdated."

This led to a pleasant conversation about how some vintage items were so much better quality than their modern counterparts, and then that meandered into a discussion about the travesty of being able to Google or Wikipedia anything, and how kids these days don't need to work their brains because everything is just a click away. As a teacher, that is definitely a topic near and dear to my heart, especially since I have seen my homework questions show up on Yahoo! Questions/Answers. I know that students often (not always, and not all of them) take the shortcut of just looking up solutions instead of thinking through them. I've had students take shortcuts that end up being more work, just because they were trying to avoid thinking/studying too hard in the first place (so you're going to go research all the past AP Psych exam questions and memorize entire essays rather than just study properly for the test in the first place?! Really, child??? Did you think I wouldn't catch that?). But I digress.

Anyway, the store owner concluded our vintage vs. modern discussion by saying something to the effect of "Don't you think we're worse off now, as a society? Don't you miss the old days?" Readers, I have to confess, I really wanted to burst out laughing. First off, this lady, at least in my estimation, was probably close to twice my age...I'm not sure how old she thought I was (I was even wearing a cutesy little sundress), but I'm pretty sure her idea of "the old days" doesn't match mine. But after I swallowed the urge to laugh, I had to say no; no, I don't miss those old days. I tried to explain that while it was too bad that plastic appliances and Forever 21 clothing don't last forever (ironically), and yes, I do wish kids still needed to use their brains to draw conclusions, I wouldn't trade our progress as a society for her old days. Maybe it's because I'm too attached to my Apple products, or maybe it's because I'm an Asian-American woman, but I'm pretty sure that growing up in the old days would've sucked.

I do wish, sometimes, that I lived in an era where women still lunched in lovely lace tea gowns and wore cute hats and gloves, but then I remember that back then, that's pretty much all they were "allowed" to do. I like having the choice to wear my full skirts and gloves, but also having the choice to go out in jeans and flip-flops without being thought under-dressed or unfeminine. Even though I ended up in the quintessential 19th century single lady job -- a teacher -- straight out of college, I like that I chose it out of many possible professional options, and that I even had the chance to go to college (and not just to get my Mrs. degree!). I don't have kids now, but I'm glad that when/if I do, they'll have examples of Asian-Americans breaking barriers to look up to. I was really fortunate to grow up in San Francisco, where being of Chinese descent wasn't a big deal, but my dad has stories of being a college student in the Midwest, fresh off the plane from Hong Kong in the late 60s, and getting all manner of racist comments. Granted, that still happens today, but at least magazines don't print articles like this anymore: 

An article from Pageant, published in May 1959. It's so un-PC it's comical.

I know this article was written by a well-meaning Chinese-American man, but still! I think part of his statement has to do with the fact that back then, it was unthinkable for someone like Jeremy Lin to have the position he has now, so most Chinese-Americans really did just have to settle for making money and big families?

For some reason, eh? 

This article, while progressive for its time in trying to educate America at large, was still miles from where we are now as Asian-Americans. I really appreciate the progress that's been made in America's ideas of Asian-Americans, and while we're still not quite there yet, it's better than having people look at me and ask where I'm really from, or how come my English is so good. Oh wait, that still happens.

Anyway, the lady at the store seemed unconvinced even though I tried my best to explain about more opportunities and all. But even though that was a week ago, I'm still thinking about it. I don't have any clever conclusion or deep thoughts to wrap this rambly post up, but suffice it to say, even though I'm not a sports person at all (and basketball holds a particularly non-soft spot in my heart for the part it played in my middle school torment), I'm really excited for Jeremy Lin. I know, everyone's jumping on the JLin bandwagon now, but I think it's more because his success is especially meaningful for every Asian-American that's ever been teased at school for being too short, scrawny, or bookish for sports, than because of a desire to cheer for a suddenly winning team.


It's not fair to Jackie Robinson, who had to fight actual segregation laws and a firmly entrenched culture of discrimination, to say that Lin is "the eastern Jackie Robinson." That said, however, I do hope that Lin can be a symbol of changes in both the broader American culture, and Asian-Americans' view of themselves.

So no, I don't miss the old days.

And just in case you all were wondering, here's what the cover of that publication looks like. Oh honey, must doctors tell lies?

23 comments:

  1. Agreed! The "old days" had their perks (it also helps that the crappy stuff manufactured or made back then has long since been weeded out, but I do agree that the disposable mentality was not so deeply ingrained, either in consumers or manufacturers) but some BIG, BIG drawbacks. (Even talking to the privileged white men in my family, the 30s do not sound like a picnic).

    As for the "kids these days"... well, the older generation has been bemoaning the sad state of the new generation since the Greeks. Back in my grandparents' (and even my parents') day, if you were too lazy/disinterested to be bothered to think at school (or just had a misunderstood learning disability), you just dropped out and got a job, and you could probably still go on to raise a middle-class family. Not so much, nowadays.

    I think the most important things to keep in mind with all our retro yearnings is the element of choice---we can choose to distill the good and discard the bad; choose to dress up if we like, or not if we don't like. Bake cookies in a flowered apron, or make hard-nosed business deals in the boardroom.

    Consent is, as always, the magic ingredient. :)

    Also that article is both hilarious and tragic.

    As for athletic stereotypes, I think I've dated too many martial arts buffs. I mean, I'm aware the "smart, scrawny" stereotype exists, but---Hello, Bruce Lee. 'Nuff said.

    Hmm. Sorry for writing a book... great post! :)

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    1. I think this is a topic that inspires book-writing, so no worries ;) Thanks for sharing your thoughts...it's true, I wish kids these days could see trade school as a viable option, but it's been hammered in a little too well that they need to go to college so they can get a job, only that's not even true anymore! And while there are definitely smaller martial artists, the average Asian kid on the playground probably isn't one, which makes life difficult sometimes.

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  2. I definitely do not long for the old days when we were forced into gender specific roles and couldn't go to school, work outside of certain fields, etc., but honestly I feel like today we're so far to the other side of the spectrum that other choices are being taken away from women - and many don't seem to care.

    I went to school, had to pay it all in loans because my family didn't have the money for college, and got my master's on an assistantship. Since I took advantages of those "opportunities" open to me as a women in this time period, now I have to work full time for the rest of my life to pay off my student loans and can never be a stay at home mom because everything costs so much that you either need a husband who makes 100,000+ a year or 2 incomes in your household.

    So while I love having the choice and opportunity to go to school and work, I feel like having the choice and opportunity to stay home - and not live in complete poverty - isn't there and that isn't quite what emancipation was all about, in my opinion.

    As far as opportunities for minorities other than women tho, I definitely think we have come really far as a society and although we have further to go you are absolutely right - onward and upward - please let's not go backward!

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    1. Totally agreed, regarding the trap of student loans! It's too bad that we can't have the choice where both options are equally viable and practical. I loved having my mom home with me when I was growing up, but I know she was itching to go out and work, which she did eventually after we were in school. Nowadays, I see many of my friends with kids lament leaving them with grandparents and such because they *have to* work to make ends meet.

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  3. Oh my god, PREACH. As a Jew and a Puerto Rican, I have to say, while I may love the look of the past, I hate it's politics. And hell, as a woman, a person with both a brain and a pair of ovaries, the social advancements of the past century are worth more then the patina of the past. And these days I can dress like Mad Men and act like Betty Friedan and, in theory, be happy. The past is no simpler or better then today because people were no simpler or better then they were today, they just did things differently. I'm thrilled I have choices, and that those choices are ever more plentiful.

    strugglesewsastraightseam.wordpress.com

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    1. So nice to hear from another minority on this issue! I agree, people haven't necessarily changed, it's more that the means they have to act out who they are has changed. I'm pretty sure students have always looked for ways to get out of doing work, but the Internet sure makes it easier!

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  4. OH HELL NO!

    I'm in my 40s, and I'm afraid that more and more of my contemporaries are starting to talk like this. What was so good about the "old days"? More violence in schools (any kid seen as different got beaten up regularly, and heaven help you if you were gay...and teachers looked the other way because it was just part of growing up...), overt sexism (I was told point blank that I shouldn't study engineering at University because I would be the only girl), rampant racism (you could have heard a pin drop when I would enter a room with my Singaporian boyfriend - and they didn't call him Chinese but something hateful I won't repeat), lack of access to birth control so every year my high school had its share of teen moms (but never dads, because they were blameless) etc. etc. etc.

    I think when people express nostalgia for the past, what they are really nostalgic for is their own childhood. For whatever reason, they look back at a time when they didn't have as much responsibility, and from the point of view of a stressed adult, it seemed like an idyllic time. Choice and change scare the shit out of a lot of people. But those people are what scare me.

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    1. Thanks for sharing! Yes, I think it is a nostalgia for no responsibilities and playtime, but it's crucial to be able to distill what one is *actually* missing, instead of just lumping it all together as "the old days."

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  5. I remember Gertie mentioning something a while back (probably a year ago)about people asking her why she dresses in vintage fashion when those fashions represent an era of racism, sexism, violence, etc. It's hard for a lot of people to make those distinctions, but I think we, as people interested in aesthetics, shouldn't let politics of a bygone era hold us back. I couldn't imagine people disregarding what we've learned from the ancient Greeks because of their moral standards, and I don't think that applies today, either.

    I think we, as a society, have made leaps and bounds in the past few generations, and especially in regards to the availability of knowledge. An answer to a question you had for school or about life 50 years ago required trusting someone else who probably couldn't cite their sources in conversation, searching long and hard through books in the library with a poor indexing system, or just letting go of whatever you were wondering. Today, awkward questions can be answered through a google search, information that used to be stored in expensive or poorly organized books is online and accessible, and when people state an opinion or have an idea it's easy for them to publish it (such as through blogging or yahoo answers) and get a response from huge amounts of interested people. I really don't think things were better in the good old days in most regards.

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    1. I totally agree with you regarding the wonders of availability of information! I think I was probably the last generation of students who still had to learn to use card catalogs, and I clearly remember a lesson in second grade on how to use the header words in a dictionary to determine if the word we wanted would be on that page...but yes, I love that there is so much learning going on online; it definitely makes sewing easier for me! That said, it's still a struggle to get students to learn how to learn with the Internet (if that makes sense) instead of just using it to find answers without actually learning. I must have missed Gertie's post about vintage fashion, but I agree with what you say; I don't particularly want to leave my runty babies on a mountain to be devoured by wolves, but gosh am I glad for geometry and the Hippocratic Oath.

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  6. Have you seen Midnight in Paris? The protagonist has an epiphany about nostalgia and living in the past- that in some ways the future is actually better, for all that 1920's Paris in the rain is beautiful and inspiring. They don't have Novocaine, for example. It's been stuck in my brain lately that there's no time like the present.

    Besides, I think in any other time I would have been something of a pariah.. Or burned as a witch.. ;) I'm grateful to live in the times I do, for the internet and anti-biotics and the right to tell someone where to stop the world and get off if they treat me like a second-class person based on my sex or nationality...

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    1. Nope, I haven't seen it, but I'll be on the lookout now. And as a person who's always had atrocious times of the month, I am SO GLAD for things like painkillers and birth control pills! Indeed, there's no time like the present! Also, I'm so glad that you haven't been burned as a witch ;)

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  7. We only had an old Singer when I was growing up and that's what I learned to sew on. The thing would shock me all the time. No lie!

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    1. I only vaguely remember sewing with my mom's old Singer, but it was definitely one of the "newer" old ones, not at all like that one I posted a picture of. So I wouldn't know!

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  8. I miss some things from the old days and not others, just like I enjoy some things in life today and not others. But I'm definitely thankful that I live in an age where I am given the right to education and to make my own choices in life.
    I learned sewing on a Singer which had a treadle. My mum finally gave it away a few years ago.

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    1. Yes, I think the key here is choice...to feel that you have some control over your destiny in life, not just being forced or herded into one thing or another just because you are ______ gender/race/age.

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  9. Oh man, I thought there was going to be an article in the magazine about a genius baby who makes shoes for a living.

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    1. I believe that would be a baby cobbler, but a genius baby that travels from town to town selling small trinkets is equally awesome!

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  10. I agree with you and I think people look at the 'old days' with rose tinted glasses on. I love all the clothes and how people use to dress up all the time, but the country was in a bad state and women couldn't do anything. I think its great we can incorporate vintage with our modern lives. http://thesecondhandrose.blogspot.com/

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    1. Oh, those rose-tinted glasses. They'll get you every time. I much prefer incorporating the look of vintage without the baggage of vintage!

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  11. Hello! I just came across your blog for the first time, and I so enjoyed this post! I"m a teacher too - Tomorrow my Grade 3 class is talking about what kind of qualities a pioneer would need. As much as I love sewing and housewifely arts, I certainly have no desire to go back to that time! I've lived in enough countries around the world to know that overt sexism and racism are still going strong in lots of contexts, and they can make life pretty unbearable! Not that things are perfect here and now, but I'm grateful for what I've got!

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  12. Nostalgia tends to include willful blindness. In the mid to late '70s girls were (often strongly) discouraged from participating in sports. Even in the '80s I was warned to not exercise too much, lest I start to look like a man. (Ha, didn't happen!) In college a drafting class instructor (old white guy) informed the class that he did not think females should have been allowed to enroll in it. (I should have complained, but I was still only 18 years old and a little intimidated by that.) Rape was often blamed on the victim. (Ya, still have that problem but it's not quite as bad). Both of the high schools I went to in CA had daycare centers in them. On the lighter side, hair care products, not to mention hair, were kind of awful. The only thing I (might) long for from my old days is a flat midriff and free time.

    As for racism, well that's better but definitely not gone. I am married to a person from an Asian country. From sharing his experiences, I can confirm that racism and racist stereotyping is still quite common. Sometimes it is subtle - being ignored by a shop clerk; sometimes it is not subtle - being called "Miss" instead of Mister. (I won't even get into the "cuisine" questions). I think that Asian men have it particularly bad in this society. I don't think that Jeremy Lin's success will change this, but at least the issue is getting some attention.
    ~Jen

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  13. I've had people look at me and ask where I'm really from, or how come my English is so good, too. Except I was in China, and they were surprised when I told them I'm American and wondered why I didn't have blonde hair and blue eyes . Ignorance is everywhere.

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Thank you for taking the time to tell me your thoughts! I appreciate reading them and I try to reply to most, if not all, comments, especially when they are questions. I ask that you keep your comments polite, and if you're a spammer, don't bother because your comment will just be deleted! Also, if you're commenting on a post that's more than two weeks old, it will be moderated.